


How I Almost Ruined My Best Friend's Wedding

by Charlatron



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bed Sex, Door Sex, F/M, Floor Sex, Mia's taking the weekend off and letting her hair down, Morning Sex, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Spooning, with a teensy bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:36:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29706918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlatron/pseuds/Charlatron
Summary: Mia was dreading her estranged brother's wedding, mostly because neither Branson nor Rosalie could make it.Although... it would be nice to have some time to herself with nobody depending on her.Perhaps she'd even get the chance to let her hair down and make some bad decisions of her own for a change.
Relationships: Mia Rutherford/Rylen
Comments: 14
Kudos: 13
Collections: Nobody Expects the Dragon Age Smutquisition





	How I Almost Ruined My Best Friend's Wedding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoffeeBird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeBird/gifts).



“How are you not supremely hungover?” Cullen grumbled at Rylen’s jovial entrance.

“You are such a lightweight,” Rylen mocked, “not only am I _not_ hungover but after dragging your sorry arse back to your ladies chambers last night… I met a lady of my own.”

“Is that right?” Cullen disinterestedly responded as he uncorked a health potion and downed the contents.

“Oh aye, made quite the impression she did - punched some overfamiliar drunkard square in the jaw and knocked him out cold.” 

Rylen had always admired a woman who could take care of herself, even more so when combined with such endlessly long legs and pretty eyes.

“Well, how could you be expected to resist such a temptress,” Cullen sassed as he finally left his seat to splash some cold water on his face.

“You didn’t see her,” Rylen argued, “beautiful, smart, funny - and the things she could do with her mouth.”

“Alright, that’s quite enough.” Cullen chuckled, the healing potion slowly starting to take effect. “Is she anyone I know?”

Rylen opened his mouth to speak, and promptly realised it wasn’t a question he could answer.

“You don’t even remember her name, do you.”

Rylen covered his eyes in shame as he thought hard on the previous night's _amorous_ activities, trawling his sordid memories for any mention of her name... but found none.

“You are unbelievable,” Cullen shook his head in humorous disapproval.

“There is _no way_ I would have forgotten this one’s name,” he insisted, “come to think of it, I don’t even recall telling her mine.”

“Well, that should be a fun conversation for you both later.”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to charm my way out of it.” Rylen winked like the loveable rogue he was.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Cullen agreed, “I’ve seen you talk your way out of much worse.”

The pair soon dropped their chatter and proceeded to ready themselves for the big day ahead. Cullen was so nervous he barely spoke another word. 

“Ready to go greet your guests?” Rylen finally prompted, to which Cullen exhaled a nervous breath. “That ready?” Rylen chuckled. “Why don’t I go hold down the fort and you can take a minute or two to think about that smoking hot soon-to-be wife of yours and have a tactical wank.”

“A what?” Cullen choked.

“A tactical wank,” Rylen slowly enunciated as though Cullen were simple, “can you honestly remember a time when you’ve ever felt nervous _after_ blowing your load?”

“Well, I…”

“Look, just do whatever it is you need to do to find your nerve,” Rylen insisted, “I can take care of things until then.”

He slipped out of the room before Cullen could respond and quickly closed the door behind him, rushing off to greet the arriving guests and to make sure everything was proceeding as planned. He tried to put his nameless golden-haired goddess to the back of his mind, but the prospect of seeing her again made him feel like a giddy schoolboy impatiently waiting for Satinalia morning. 

Rylen had barely said hello to three people when he spotted her standing apart from the rest of the crowd, admiring the floral arrangements. She looked even more radiant than he remembered; long tousled waves tumbling down her back like a golden waterfall shimmering in the sunlight.

Although she looked quite the vision in her backless floor-length gown, the nervous twitch of her fingers made it rather obvious she felt out of place and alone. 

Clearly, she was in need of rescuing.

Rylen crossed the lush garden without her notice and stopped just a few paces behind her, close enough that she would hear him but not so close as to draw any unwanted attention.

“You look gorgeous,” he spoke quietly over his shoulder, “now get up those stairs so I can ravish you.”

His mystery woman didn’t turn fully to face him, just enough that he could tell she was smiling before she began a meandering path towards the aforementioned stairs.

He waited until she was halfway up the first flight before inconspicuously giving chase, and when he reached the top he found her looking out over the mountains. 

He made enough noise so as not to surprise her as he approached from behind, admiring her shapely silhouette against the backdrop of the early afternoon sun.

“There you are,” he said, announcing himself before placing a hand on her hip and spinning her to face him.

She instantly wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her close, meeting him in a fervid kiss that restricted the space in his trousers. He hadn’t intended for it to go on as long as it did, but her teeth nipping at his bottom lip and her nails raking through his hair drove him to lose all sense of decorum. She was lust incarnate, clearly as desperate for him as he was for her and not about to stop anytime soon. He was so intoxicated by her that he was actually about to pull up her skirt and have his way with her right there on the battlements.

“Listen.” She suddenly pulled away, making his cheeks flush as he truly considered the implications of what he was almost about to do just barely out of sight of the rest of the wedding guests. “I don’t usually make a habit of sleeping with random strangers... particularly those whose names I never bothered to learn,” she grimaced, as though waiting for his ire. 

Rylen laughed. “I was wondering how I might bring that up.”

She smiled and bit her lip. “I guess we skipped that part, huh?”

Rylen took a step back and held out his hand in greeting. “Rylen.”

“Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Rylen.” She took his offered hand and gave it a firm shake. “I’m Mia.”

The smile disappeared from Rylen’s face as he dropped her hand and took three reflexive steps back. “Y-you’re Cullen’s sister?”

“That is a very small part of my identity, yes.”

“Oh, no-no-no.”

“What?”

“I’m his best man! I’m fairly certain there’s a rule book somewhere that specifically states I’m not supposed to sleep with his sister!”

“Oh, for goodness sake.” Mia rolled her eyes in the exact same way he’d seen Cullen do a thousand times before, and he felt like a complete idiot for not having seen their frankly stark similarities before now.

“Oh Maker, the things I did to you,” he worried, “he’ll never forgive me.”

Mia snorted. “Listen, if you insist on confessing that we spent the night together I won't stop you, but I seriously doubt he’s going to want the specifics.”

Rylen buried his face in his hands and loudly cursed.

“So... I suppose this means I’ll be spending tonight alone then?” Her honied tone sliced through his soaring anxiety.

“Oh, don’t do that,” he begged, trying his best not to fall for the unassuming look on her face.

“Do what?” She feigned innocence, though Rylen had enough experience with women to know when he was being exploited.

“Don’t look at me that way.” 

“Why not?”

“Because it’s manipulative,” he scolded, “and will almost certainly work.”

“Rylen, I don’t get many opportunities like this,” Mia admitted, dropping all pretence, “I have a million and one responsibilities back home and I know practically everyone in the village, none of whom I wish to involve myself with romantically.”

With each word from her pretty peach lips, he felt his resolve waver.

“Perhaps I imagined it, but I feel like last night was… well, quite a bit more enjoyable than most encounters.”

Rylen shook his head. “You didn’t imagine it, lass.”

Mia reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“I am so dead,” Rylen helplessly surmised.

Mia sighed. “I get that you think you need to tell him out of some sense of loyalty, but... can’t it wait? I don’t want to be the cause of a scene at my brother’s wedding.”

“What am I supposed to do when he introduces us, just pretend I don’t know you? I can’t lie to his face like that.”

“Then tell him we met earlier,” Mia suggested, “It’s not a lie and comes with the added bonus of you not being punched in the face.”

She had a point.

“Aye, alright,” he eventually acquiesced, “but we have to be discreet, I don’t want him finding out about this on his own.”

“Of course,” she agreed, stretching up onto her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, “see you down there?”

“Yeah, I’ll be down as soon as I can,” he said, indiscreetly adjusting his erection to demonstrate his meaning.

“I could help with that,” Mia teased.

“Get out of here right now before I bend you over that wall,” Rylen playfully threatened, “bloody temptress.”

He had planned to largely avoid her but since she was the only one of her siblings in attendance and Cullen had specifically asked him to keep her company that wasn’t really possible, and he spent the entire evening walking the line between too aloof and too friendly. Rylen had never put so much effort into considering how other people might perceive him, it was utterly exhausting and he was beyond relieved when the newlyweds finally decided to retire for the evening.

Mia was the one to suggest they follow suit, innocently requesting he escort her back to her room lest she _lose her way._

The short journey to the guest wing was a blur, lips fused together as deft hands blindly loosened buckles and buttons. His first realisation they’d reached her room was when he was pushing her up against the door, having been completely oblivious to her even opening it.

Rylen gripped one shoulder of her dress and peeled it down her arm, exposing one faultless breast to his wandering lips. He heard the thud of her head hitting the door as he sucked her nipple into this mouth, teasing it to stiffness before returning to her lips to kiss her breathless.

Mia slipped her other arm out of its sleeve and let her dress fall to her waist, moaning approvingly as Rylen lapped at her pulse point and pawed her breasts. There wasn’t a single thing he’d change about them; perfectly pert handfuls that sat so comfortably in his palms it was as though they were made for him. 

She allowed him a moment of indulgence before interrupting his feast to help unburden him of his own clothes. Rylen’s neglected cock pulsed with need at her lustful purr as she regarded his tattooed chest, the look on her face positively predatory. 

Rylen gave her dress a final yank over her slender hips, taking a knee as the garment pooled around her feet. He stroked his hands up the length of her long legs, giving her bottom an experimental squeeze before tucking his fingers into her smalls and swiftly dragged them down to her ankles.

Mia braced herself against the door as he began to pepper her stomach and thighs with light kisses, driving her wild with need before finally parting her legs to drag his tongue through her folds. She gripped his thick curls tightly as he devoured her, hips gently rocking as she unconsciously ground herself against his face.

He teased her slit with his thumb, lapping relentlessly at her clit until her legs began to quake and she moaned his name. Desperate to feel her spasming around him he quickly stood, wrapping her legs around his narrow hips and slowly sinking into her. He kissed her passionately and would have been content to remain still until she dragged her nails over the skin of his back, making him buck wildly. It would have been obvious to anyone passing by what was going on, what with the repetitive banging of the door as he bounced her on his cock. 

And then he thought of Cullen.

He took a few steps backwards, hoping to move things to the bed but as he turned around he tripped on his trousers and they both fell to the ground. Rylen could have had a broken arm and he wouldn’t have noticed, his attention so utterly consumed by the woman beneath him as he eagerly sank back into her.

The bed was barely three feet away but it might as well have been three miles, and with each thrust they moved further away. He worried she’d get splinters in her backside but she didn’t seem to mind at all, clinging to him with the same desperation he felt coursing through his veins. 

Rylen growled as he ground himself against her, holding back his own release with immense difficulty as he tried to focus on making her toes curl once more.

Finally, her back arched off the floor, lips parting as she shamelessly moaned and writhed beneath him. Rylen couldn’t control himself for a second longer, sheathing himself to the hilt as he filled her with his ropey spend.

He collapsed onto the floor beside her, both of them covered from head to toe in a sheen of well-earned sweat and panting heavily. They lay unmoving for a moment, basking in the postcoital afterglow until their sweat cooled and they both began to shiver. 

Rylen followed suit as Mia stood and headed over to the washbasin. She handed him a damp cloth and they each cleaned themselves in silence.

Now was probably a good time to leave. He had a feeling it would be a whole lot more difficult come the morrow, waking up with her in his arms.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” she asked, as though she’d heard his thoughts.

Rylen simply smiled, momentarily captivated by the lone dark freckle just below her right eye. 

“Shall I be the big spoon?” he japed, worried she’d discover just how much of a besotted fool he was.

Mia snorted. “You can be whichever spoon you’d like.”

Rylen slid under the covers and held them up for her to join him. He pulled her closer, proudly displaying his brute strength as he pressed her back tightly to his chest. He couldn’t have helped it if he’d tried, but her bare backside nestled into his groin inevitably incited a keen erection.

He saw her cheek move as she smiled in response, soon followed by a teasing roll of her hips. Rylen cupped her cheek and gently turned her face towards him, just enough to capture her lips in a slow indulgent kiss. 

Mia reached blindly for his cock to guide him to her, bewitching him with her alluring sigh of repletion as she slowly engulfed him. 

He held her tightly to him, his lips never leaving her as they made slow passionate love until time lost all meaning. When he gripped her hip, unconsciously alerting her to his approaching end she took his hand and guided his fingers to their joining. 

Rylen was rather impressed with his own multitasking as he sensually kissed her neck and maintained a smooth rhythm of precise thrusts, all while giving her pearl such unwavering attention it was barely two minutes before she began to moan in earnest and the flutter of her orgasm once again milked him dry. 

* * *

“Good morning, beautiful,” Rylen huskily greeted, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck. He hadn’t even remembered falling asleep after they'd wiped themselves down again.

Mia laughed as she rolled onto her back to get a better look at him. “Good morning, handsome.”

He traced idle patterns around her navel, one hand supporting his head as he dreaded what was to come - although if it was confessing his betrayal to Cullen or saying goodbye to Mia that was causing him such anxiety, he couldn’t say.

"I should probably make a move before the sun comes up," he determined, sitting up and scooting back to lean against the headboard.

"Or," Mia countered as she mimicked his movements and sat beside him, “we could have one last hurrah?"

"Better make it quick then, aye." Rylen smiled cheekily as he effortlessly hoisted her onto his lap.

He held her close, savouring the touch of her skin and the taste of her lips as she rode them both to a quick release. Rylen closed his eyes and focused on her voice as she cried his name, intent on committing the exquisite sound to memory. He didn’t release her right away - couldn’t - one ear to her chest, listening to her racing heart gradually resume a steady beat.

She kissed the top of his head in what was surely intended to be a show of affection, but knowing it could very well be the last... it stang like a slap to the face.

They dressed in relative silence, each of them stealing longing glances when the other wasn't looking. It was hard not to want for more, but they both knew this for what it was: a brief tryst that would soon become a distant memory. 

“I promised Cullen I'd meet him for breakfast,” Mia spoke to break the silence, “I suspect he'll come looking for me if I keep him waiting much longer.”

“Right,” Rylen steeled himself, “you’d better get going then.”

He wanted to kiss her, but he was afraid if he did he might never let her go. So, instead, he followed her out in silence.

And promptly ran straight into Cullen.

"I was worried you might have gotten lost...” Cullen began, trailing off suddenly when he noticed Mia wasn’t alone, “Rylen?"

"Cullen." Rylen gulped. "I was just, uh…"

"Please tell me there is some explanation for this other than you _defiling my sister,_ ” Cullen seethed, hands balled into fists as he glared at the two of them.

Rylen held up his hands in supplication. “Cullen, mate, you have every right to be angry -”

“Oh no he does not,” Mia furiously interjected.

“I beg your pardon?” Cullen sputtered.

“You heard me,” Mia continued to tear into him, “let us not forget that I am the older sibling here. I am a grown woman, Cullen Stanton Rutherford, far more capable of taking care of myself than you could possibly know.”

“Now, hold on just a-”

“Am I to believe both you and your new bride were virgins prior to your wedding night?”

Rylen snorted.

“Didn’t think so. Now drop the double standards and stop acting like my bloody father.”

“But-”

“But nothing. Rylen and I are both consenting adults, and I know he’s too much of a gentleman to tell you this himself but he didn’t even know who I was the first time we… met.” 

_Met_ was definitely a wiser description than what actually happened.

Cullen’s nostrils flared as he tried to contain his anger. “So why not tell me about this yesterday instead of sneaking around behind my back?”

“And risk the groom punching his best man before he’d even recited his vows?”

“I wouldn’t have -”

Rylen arched a sceptical brow.

“Yes, alright, I probably would have,” Cullen reluctantly admitted.

Rylen suddenly felt the need to thank Mia for talking him out of potentially ruining his best friends wedding. They may have spent more of their lives apart than together, but she clearly still knew her brother.

“So… are we good?” Rylen dared to ask.

“No,” Cullen immediately rebutted, “but... we will be.”

Rylen exhaled a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. Cullen was his best friend in the entire world and the last thing he’d ever want to do is jeopardize that.

“My wife and I will see you downstairs,” Cullen spoke quietly to Mia, casting Rylen an intense glare before heading off towards the great hall. However, angry as he was he couldn’t fully conceal the happiness such talk of his now- _wife_ evoked - daft bastard.

Mia waited until Cullen’s footsteps could no longer be heard before breathing a sigh of relief. “Well, I don’t think that was as bad as it could have been.”

“No,” Rylen happily agreed, “though he could still put me on latrine duty.”

Mia snorted. “I had a lot more fun this weekend than I thought I would.”

“I had fun too.” Rylen smiled, hooking a finger beneath her chin to give her one last lingering kiss.

“Goodbye, Rylen.”

“Mia,” he called, before she’d barely even taken three steps.

She slowly turned to face him, her expression questioning but wordless.

“Would you mind if I...” He nervously dragged his fingers through his hair. “If I, maybe, came to visit you in South Reach sometime?”

Mia smiled brightly, making his heart beat erratically. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

Rylen nodded cooly, biting the inside of his cheek to deny the boyish grin fighting to break free.

His former mystery woman gave him a final once over, then turned on her heel and followed after her brother.

Rylen placed a hand on his chest and took a deep breath as he looked out over the frostbacks. He didn’t know exactly when it would happen, but someday, somehow... he was going to marry that woman.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Branson and Rosalie couldn't make it to Cullen's wedding because Branson's wife was heavily pregnant at the time and Rose was her midwife.


End file.
